Domestic Violence Info

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STATISTICS

·        85% - 95% of all domestic violence victims are female 

·        Over 5000,00 women are stalked by an intimate partner each year 

·        5.3 million women are abused each year 

·        As many as 324,000 women each year experience domestic violence during their pregnancy 

·        1,232 women each year are killed by an intimate partner 

·        Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women 

·        Women are more likely to be attacked by someone that they know rather than by a stranger 

·        An estimated 5.3 million cases of domestic violence occur among U.S. women 18 and older each year, resulting in nearly 2 million injuries 

·        On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the U.S. every day 

·        In a survey by the US Conference of Mayors, 56% of cities surveyed cited domestic violence as a primary cause of homelessness 

·        50% to 70% of men who abuse women also abuse children 

·        Homicide is the leading cause of death for women in the workplace 

·        Of the approximately 1.7 million incidents of workplace violence that occur in the U.S. every year, 18,700 are committed by an intimate partner: a current or former spouse, lover, partner or boyfriend/girlfriend

Copied via http://www.abetterwaydomesticviolence.org/rooms.html

     Are you yet wondering why I posted this, even before I begin my story? Well you see, that you seeing those statistics is more important to me than you even reading my story. Yes today I am going to tell you 2 stories, summed up. Prepare yourself, they are not pretty.

     This weekend a friend of mine came to my house. She had sun glasses on and so I asked why, even though I already knew the answer. You see her face was badly beaten on both sides. She had a horrible black eye and could barely walk upright because of the bruises on her ribs. I had to take her under my wing for the last few days because she didn’t know what to do.

     I proceeded in helping her to find the resources necessary. From the start she needed to visit the hospital and even be strong and tell them what happened. The hospital got the police involved, which made it easier for her to do the right thing and turn him in. I am glad she followed through because you will not believe what happened next. Her boyfriend left her house after beating the crap out of her and went straight to the police and turned her in! I guess he didn’t realize how badly he tore up her face and thought that he could get away with it. Now I don’t know where this is going yet, I just wanted to put the knowledge into everyone’s head.

Now I will share my summed up version of a very lengthy story with you.

     In the beginning of 2005 I met the most wonderful, sweet, romantic man. He was my prince charming and he lifted my spirits and gave me the world. About 3 months into the relationship he hit me for the first time. He didn’t ‘just’ hit me but remember this is the short version. Immediately when he was through he loved me so much, and was so-so very sorry and promised never to do it again. This went on every couple months for the next 3 years until he almost killed me. I made him go to therapy, with no avail. He was just doing it to please me. So one day I packed me and my kids up from my own house (I was the only one on the lease) and went to the domestic violence shelter. I ended up getting fed up with being there and got a macho attitude that I should be in my own home, it was mine and I deserved to be there. True fact: I did deserve to be there, safely though. Needless to say I went home, he said everything I wanted to hear and then he moved back in. 1 month later I lost custody of my children because of the abuse and that only made it worse. I almost died, probably 5 times. And then PRISON saved my life.

     There’s more but that’s enough for today. The moral is, stop it on site. Men (and women) who cause Domestic Violence are unpredictable. They are capable of anything, even framing you for their behavior. They will eventually kill you, so please call the police, shelter, anyone you can and ask for help. Remember never to go back after the first time, it ALWAYS progresses. One last fact; I never turned him in and to this day he continues to find weaker willed women, quiet and depressed or just reserved because he sniffs them out like a hound dog and thinks he can control them, and he beats them too. All because I let him get away with it and so are the others. And I regret it everyday. Women please do the right thing.

     *I am not a therapist or Domestic Violence worker of any kind, this is solely based off life experience.

What's Up Wednesday

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Hey ya'll! It's Wednesday and I've been a major slacker, but since it's time for What's Up I suppose I can share why.

First of all, Happy Patriot Day. I hope everyone has a glorious day although I know way too many are not. I'm actually in a so-so mood myself. I always have a rough 9/11, but my thoughts are with everybody out there in America today and I send my prayers and blessings.

This is actually my 1st year out of the hospital on this day for quite a long time. I get very depressed, it has taken me this long to figure out that our bodies and time are in sync, so when a bad time of year starts rolling around our mind picks up on it even if we are unaware of the thoughts causing the sadness. But this year I paid attention because I did become aware of why and when my depression was beginning. And today being Patriot day does not mean I'm free and clear, nor that my emotional stress is over. Today is actually the very beginning. I think I'll make it this time, many thanks to my 5 therapists right now, and I hope all of you find a way for you to make it through too.

On to What's Up in my life. As I mentioned above I have 5 therapists. Yep I am finally facing all those horrible bad things in my life mostly through Cognitive Therapies. Which means I am extremely busy with lots of appointments and deep detailed homework. Taking a look deep inside is very draining. I'm on my 3rd week and I'm more tired than if I was working a full time job, (kind of glad I'm not right now, geez I feel for those who do), also I am adjusting to a lot of new medications and it is totally slowing me down.

So obviously I want to blog. I love to blog. I just haven't made it a priority lately for a few reasons. One I am exhausted right now and two I really am not getting anywhere with my blog. Not where I would like to be and definitely not where I think I should be. This is a real slow process for me. So for now I'm allowing it to be slow so that I do not become overwhelmed. I am thinking of taking it as slow as I feel and blogging here and there but first and foremost to read more blogs about how to actually write good posts. I get a lot of enjoyment out of typing my thoughts and feelings out and hitting those publish and share buttons, but I want you all to get the most enjoyment out of taking the time to read it also.

http://ishouvik.com/5-ways-to-improve-your-blog-posts

Yes what I am saying is I need some tips PLEASE, so for those of you reading I am asking for your tips, hints, advice and criticism. Please comment or email me once you've looked over my blog, and always leave your blog url so I can check out your amazing writings. With that I am going to close out with peace and love and many, many blessings. Thanks for stopping by on my What's Up Wednesday (which will someday be a link-up).

P.S. Don't think I'm giving up on blogging because that is not my intention. My intentions are to make it the most important aspect of my life outside of myself, my family and my wonderful friends, especially the ones I've met online. :)

Just A Little Bitching (can I say that)

Lol, I really don't care if I can or not, at least not at this point. This is my blog, I made it for me so I guess anything goes, when and how I want it to. If you read it, that's great, I will read and follow you too. If you don't like it then I guess you won't read or follow, and I'm cool with that too.

So my Bitch fit, goes a little something like this. First off today I didn't do Sunday Social. Not because it wasn't awesome, but because I left my old life and let go of my old friends and that's when I had awesome vacation times and I just didn't want to visit them.

Me on my fave vacation to South Beach Florida

My blog is called Reprogramming The Mind because I am doing just that. At least I am trying to. Very hard. At times I think I am doing great. But I realize that's only when I isolate, even though my 'Mind Specialists' tell me I can't do that. But all I've realized in this re-adjustment of life style for me is that people tend to have a special way about them that can really piss me off.

Right now I'm kind of thanking the God and Goddess that I have very few friends on the internet so far, none that have pissed me off, and even fewer who actually read my blog. Thank the God and Goddess again because I'm not sure I should publish this.

What pissed me off? Oh lets see, I met a lady a few weeks back and I know we are becoming great buds, hanging out, doing stuff and talking all the time. She even texted me while we were sitting out front in a group of people. Only true friends do that, right. Well I want to know why in the sam hell I just run into her and she invites me over to watch TV, I say no because I just had to watch 5 episodes of CULT to get caught up. I'm TV'd out for now and have things to do like blog.  (Which by the way it was going to be a good one)But hey True Blood will be on later if you want to come over. I'm really tired though so I may wait to watch it, and she says no I will keep you up for that.

Well I walk around the block, sit out front and have a smoke and feel like I'm about to fall asleep. So I decide to stop by her place and see if maybe she has a cup of coffee. I knock on the door, stand there and wait for an answer. None. But low and behold the worst of all worst things happen. I can hear her and her man talking. He says well if you don't want to hang out with her just tell her you can't, you have things to do. Tell her you can't come over tonight because you have been staying up all night (with her) and need to get some sleep. And she says but I really do want to watch TRUE BLOOD I just don't want to go to her house. And bam that's when I realized she's a bitch and I really honestly shouldn't have friends. And I leave.

My Only True Bestest Friend "MONK"

Yeah we stayed up late together a few times, but that was her call at her house asking me to watch movies and then talking my ear off and what did I do, I sat and listened to her till 4 in the morning. I have been staying up all night, but it hasn't been with her so if she has that's on her completely because I wasn't there and she wasn't here so why the fuck are they insinuating it's my fault she's tired? Hanging out with her has totally blocked my ability to do my internet duties anyway. I'm the one who can't get shit done. And fuck if she doesn't want to hang out with me she doesn't need to watch True Blood at my house at freaking 9 o'clock.

I don't know how to reprogram my stinking mind about this, should I take it as I didn't hear everything said so I'm reading into it the wrong way. Should I just take as maybe she's only comfortable in her house? Should I just forget it since we have so much in common? Am I being to hard on my friends, letting them go over things that shouldn't matter? I don't know what to do here, I really need help. A girl has got to have friends, right? I can't just let the whole world go, but damn I really feel like it.

Well if you read this, I am impressed. Thank you for listening to me complain about my inability to create friendships. I sure hope I find a way to create some real ones in the near future.

What's Up Wednesday

Wow, I've been thinking about doing this post all week and I literally got caught up in too much crap all day. It's late, but hey it's not past midnight every where, lol. I happened to scroll down my blog the other day looking for something and I was like OMG I totally forgot I started that. So here I am weeks later with a wonderful What's Up Wednesday.

So Jesyka, What is up???
First off I just want to say What's Up Wednesday first appeared here on Reprogramming The Mind with your one and only host muah. That being said I cannot wait til it's possible for me to begin this as my 1st link-up! Yay!
Second, me and my blog would like to wish my son a Happy Happy 7th Birthday! And so on...
With the thought of this one day becoming a link-up I should mention I have been thinking of, and very much so lately, of changing my blog name. I tell my therapist everything and she even recommended it (without knowing it's title already). I shared A Storm and A Desert with her today and now she seems to think I should focus it more on being a blog from a female veteran's experience with a title specifying so. Good point. It's now on my to-do list.
Also today while I was at the hospital I was able to meet with the Writing Group Psychiatrist and share some poetry with her. Just my luck it turns out that they are submitting poems to be published in a book from Appalachian poets. Fingers crossed, that would be awesome. And that's all I am sharing today, thanks for stopping by and reading. Please comment, follow or subscribe.

A Storm and A Desert

Today I want to write something a little inspirational because well that’s what started me wanting to write. For the past ten minutes I have been arguing with myself on what to write about. I have now decided that an experience I had last night during the storm that may very well be better than my other ideals. I am choosing this because in my dual-diagnosis group yesterday we talked about avoidable triggers and unavoidable triggers. This is an example of an unavoidable trigger.

Last night, here in southern Ohio we had a major Thunderstorm with Tornado warnings and Flooding. I stayed up very late; the winds began just as I was heading to bed. It was hard to go to sleep thinking about the Tornado Warnings and the branches from the trees hitting my windows but I managed to finally fall asleep at about 3:30 am. I was sleeping so cannot truly tell the events that were going on outside my window, I can just guess that it was hard winds, branches falling, rain flooding the streets, lightening and the loudest, scariest thunder you have ever heard.

When I’m out, I’m out pretty hard usually. By the way I felt at 5 am I know I was extremely tired and mad that I was awaken. All I remember of the thoughts in my head before I was awakened was where I was and how I was feeling. I felt dreadful, scared out of my mind, with the fear of dying. I remember I was hearing that very loud booming sound in a desert far away. I remember I was tucked in a bunker, mask on and weapon raised. I remember I was terrified; anticipating the very next landing of the missile headed my way. I remember praying, probably for the first time in my life, that I make it through this day. And in the middle of my very scared thoughts, and my pleas of what I would do if I was spared my life, the thunder roared at a high altitude of noise and a branch fell into the road.

I rolled down, from my bed to the floor. Taking cover and I knew the next time that missile struck, I was going to be next, dead, shipped home from a body of sand. I was shaking, sweating, thinking of all my wrongs, and trying to figure out whether I should leave this spot or stay, like I could calculate the detonation of the next one. I was fearfully terrified because I was about to die. I sat there, my head hurting from all the stress, and my mind began to clear, and I noticed there wasn't another explosion. I saw lightening but the thunder wasn't too loud, rain was pouring and I was at home. I was on the floor, next to my bed and I was all alone. My body was still quivering but my fear was subsiding. I take notice in everything that happened and realized exactly what was happening.

Now if you are reading this and you don’t know what just happened to me, the storm caused me to have a PTSD flashback. Normally I would have never shared anything like this outside of therapy, but that was my old normal. Today I am mentally healthy, pretty much. I've grown in so many ways and truth be told it has been a very long time since that has happened to me. Little things still do every once in a while but today I have a strong support system in place and I have learned many coping skills from other people just like me. As soon as my head was clear last night and I realized I was home and not on a battle field in Iraq, I immediately grabbed for the closest paper and pen and I wrote down exactly how I was feeling and what happened. It took me a while to do it and a while to be able to go to sleep, but when I finished writing and I saw I wasn't completely better, I grabbed my tablet and turned on some relaxing meditation music. I lied there and thought about things for probably 2 hours but that’s OK because I did what I had to do to get through it. Most importantly I got through everything in a healthy positive way.And now I am even able to blog about it! :)

If you are a veteran and are having symptoms of PTSD and haven’t reached out for help please contact the VAMC closest to you and seek treatment. My hardest times were before I ever went there, before I even knew that I could. Visit their web-site @ www.va.org or call the veterans crisis line @ 1-800-273-8255 (press 1) Thank you for reading. Please comment, share and follow. 

Depression Update

Depression Update

Today I must write a little update about me because I haven't wrote since Monday. And Monday I really wasn't feeling up to it. I just realized what happened to me today when I was finally trying to get back in the game of life, if you will. Something happened Sunday or Monday, I don't know what all I know is I was nausea, fatigued and my head hurt so bad I thought I was dying. All that is typical since I get Migraines often but this week it lasted 4 days. I guess that's typical as well. But today I looked at the calendar and I seen that Tuesday was Mar. 19th. March 19th, 2003 was the day Bush declared war with Iraq, and well I was a sitting duck.

I have been noticing over the years, the past 3 I have been examining myself, that on certain days of the year, usually tragic, the conscious mind doesn't even need to be aware of the date but the sub conscious brain still feels the terrible memories. Because of that it can cause sadness, sickness, depression and even suicide, for no known reason. I'm not a doctor, or therapist and I don't feel like trying to find an article to prove my theory. I'm just saying that in my experience and examination I have found a lot of my depression to be surrounded around recurrences of tragic dates, year by year.

And that friends is what happens to me. So if I skip a few days, even though I plan to write everyday, stay with me. I hope I am sharing fun and educational stories. I want my pain and suffering to help others if possible. I like writing and I think blogging everyday will help improve my writing. I don't even think anyone reads this yet but I'm still doing it. It's for myself as much as for the world, and the friends I may make. So I will try harder, and stick to my plan. Everyday, that I can.

(These pictures are not mine, and I'm bad at referencing pics from FB, sorry)

Jesyka Lynn

What's Up Wednesday Wk 1

What's up Wednesday!

This is something I came up while planning out my blog week. Now that I know about link ups it may be cool to start a link up with it the future. Who knows. First I need to start writing a good blog and have more followers to get it passed around. Anyway today will be an actual journal of something personal that's going on in my life. Here goes!

My life has been totally hectic. I have a lot going on. I am in therapy and drug and alcohol counseling  it's an on going event that will last a life time and sometimes it is extremely hard to follow through with. I don't like to do it every week but in order to stay positive and on the straight and narrow I must do it. So 3 times a week I go in for different groups. The reason it is hard for me is because I don't like leaving my house or being in a group. At times I feel like calling it off for whatever reason, and today I did that because I have a terrible headache. But even after a year of doing the right thing all the time I feel bad for not showing up and it makes me feel guilt. For an addict the feeling of guilt is a great risk. Thankfully I made it through the day but I must remember how I felt and when it is time for the next group I must remember to show up.

Another thing in my life is a new relationship. I started dating one of my friends a couple weeks ago. I accepted the idea of dating him with the intention that it would be fun to go out and do things with probably anyone. I never thought that I would be interested in anything more than a few dates. But 3 weeks later, a few fun dates and some hanging out at my place and even once his friends place, I now have opened up my mind to maybe going further with him. The talk we had a little while ago was a little intense but we shared with each other how we felt with each other. We didn't mention if we were going to go from seeing each other to being with each other like gf/bf or whatever but we both definitely are enjoying the time together and I think that we both are going to only see each other from now on. That's already been happening so it shouldn't be hard to do. Next week I guess I will update where it has gone from here.

Thanks for stopping by, reading, commenting, subscribing, and following. Come check me out on other social networks and check out everything else I have to offer. Hope you enjoy. Many blessings and love.

Jesyka Lynn