Domestic Violence Info

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STATISTICS

·        85% - 95% of all domestic violence victims are female 

·        Over 5000,00 women are stalked by an intimate partner each year 

·        5.3 million women are abused each year 

·        As many as 324,000 women each year experience domestic violence during their pregnancy 

·        1,232 women each year are killed by an intimate partner 

·        Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women 

·        Women are more likely to be attacked by someone that they know rather than by a stranger 

·        An estimated 5.3 million cases of domestic violence occur among U.S. women 18 and older each year, resulting in nearly 2 million injuries 

·        On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the U.S. every day 

·        In a survey by the US Conference of Mayors, 56% of cities surveyed cited domestic violence as a primary cause of homelessness 

·        50% to 70% of men who abuse women also abuse children 

·        Homicide is the leading cause of death for women in the workplace 

·        Of the approximately 1.7 million incidents of workplace violence that occur in the U.S. every year, 18,700 are committed by an intimate partner: a current or former spouse, lover, partner or boyfriend/girlfriend

Copied via http://www.abetterwaydomesticviolence.org/rooms.html

     Are you yet wondering why I posted this, even before I begin my story? Well you see, that you seeing those statistics is more important to me than you even reading my story. Yes today I am going to tell you 2 stories, summed up. Prepare yourself, they are not pretty.

     This weekend a friend of mine came to my house. She had sun glasses on and so I asked why, even though I already knew the answer. You see her face was badly beaten on both sides. She had a horrible black eye and could barely walk upright because of the bruises on her ribs. I had to take her under my wing for the last few days because she didn’t know what to do.

     I proceeded in helping her to find the resources necessary. From the start she needed to visit the hospital and even be strong and tell them what happened. The hospital got the police involved, which made it easier for her to do the right thing and turn him in. I am glad she followed through because you will not believe what happened next. Her boyfriend left her house after beating the crap out of her and went straight to the police and turned her in! I guess he didn’t realize how badly he tore up her face and thought that he could get away with it. Now I don’t know where this is going yet, I just wanted to put the knowledge into everyone’s head.

Now I will share my summed up version of a very lengthy story with you.

     In the beginning of 2005 I met the most wonderful, sweet, romantic man. He was my prince charming and he lifted my spirits and gave me the world. About 3 months into the relationship he hit me for the first time. He didn’t ‘just’ hit me but remember this is the short version. Immediately when he was through he loved me so much, and was so-so very sorry and promised never to do it again. This went on every couple months for the next 3 years until he almost killed me. I made him go to therapy, with no avail. He was just doing it to please me. So one day I packed me and my kids up from my own house (I was the only one on the lease) and went to the domestic violence shelter. I ended up getting fed up with being there and got a macho attitude that I should be in my own home, it was mine and I deserved to be there. True fact: I did deserve to be there, safely though. Needless to say I went home, he said everything I wanted to hear and then he moved back in. 1 month later I lost custody of my children because of the abuse and that only made it worse. I almost died, probably 5 times. And then PRISON saved my life.

     There’s more but that’s enough for today. The moral is, stop it on site. Men (and women) who cause Domestic Violence are unpredictable. They are capable of anything, even framing you for their behavior. They will eventually kill you, so please call the police, shelter, anyone you can and ask for help. Remember never to go back after the first time, it ALWAYS progresses. One last fact; I never turned him in and to this day he continues to find weaker willed women, quiet and depressed or just reserved because he sniffs them out like a hound dog and thinks he can control them, and he beats them too. All because I let him get away with it and so are the others. And I regret it everyday. Women please do the right thing.

     *I am not a therapist or Domestic Violence worker of any kind, this is solely based off life experience.

What's Up Wednesday

click to get Orkut Myspace what's up Comments & Graphics

Hey ya'll! It's Wednesday and I've been a major slacker, but since it's time for What's Up I suppose I can share why.

First of all, Happy Patriot Day. I hope everyone has a glorious day although I know way too many are not. I'm actually in a so-so mood myself. I always have a rough 9/11, but my thoughts are with everybody out there in America today and I send my prayers and blessings.

This is actually my 1st year out of the hospital on this day for quite a long time. I get very depressed, it has taken me this long to figure out that our bodies and time are in sync, so when a bad time of year starts rolling around our mind picks up on it even if we are unaware of the thoughts causing the sadness. But this year I paid attention because I did become aware of why and when my depression was beginning. And today being Patriot day does not mean I'm free and clear, nor that my emotional stress is over. Today is actually the very beginning. I think I'll make it this time, many thanks to my 5 therapists right now, and I hope all of you find a way for you to make it through too.

On to What's Up in my life. As I mentioned above I have 5 therapists. Yep I am finally facing all those horrible bad things in my life mostly through Cognitive Therapies. Which means I am extremely busy with lots of appointments and deep detailed homework. Taking a look deep inside is very draining. I'm on my 3rd week and I'm more tired than if I was working a full time job, (kind of glad I'm not right now, geez I feel for those who do), also I am adjusting to a lot of new medications and it is totally slowing me down.

So obviously I want to blog. I love to blog. I just haven't made it a priority lately for a few reasons. One I am exhausted right now and two I really am not getting anywhere with my blog. Not where I would like to be and definitely not where I think I should be. This is a real slow process for me. So for now I'm allowing it to be slow so that I do not become overwhelmed. I am thinking of taking it as slow as I feel and blogging here and there but first and foremost to read more blogs about how to actually write good posts. I get a lot of enjoyment out of typing my thoughts and feelings out and hitting those publish and share buttons, but I want you all to get the most enjoyment out of taking the time to read it also.

http://ishouvik.com/5-ways-to-improve-your-blog-posts

Yes what I am saying is I need some tips PLEASE, so for those of you reading I am asking for your tips, hints, advice and criticism. Please comment or email me once you've looked over my blog, and always leave your blog url so I can check out your amazing writings. With that I am going to close out with peace and love and many, many blessings. Thanks for stopping by on my What's Up Wednesday (which will someday be a link-up).

P.S. Don't think I'm giving up on blogging because that is not my intention. My intentions are to make it the most important aspect of my life outside of myself, my family and my wonderful friends, especially the ones I've met online. :)

Just A Little Bitching (can I say that)

Lol, I really don't care if I can or not, at least not at this point. This is my blog, I made it for me so I guess anything goes, when and how I want it to. If you read it, that's great, I will read and follow you too. If you don't like it then I guess you won't read or follow, and I'm cool with that too.

So my Bitch fit, goes a little something like this. First off today I didn't do Sunday Social. Not because it wasn't awesome, but because I left my old life and let go of my old friends and that's when I had awesome vacation times and I just didn't want to visit them.

Me on my fave vacation to South Beach Florida

My blog is called Reprogramming The Mind because I am doing just that. At least I am trying to. Very hard. At times I think I am doing great. But I realize that's only when I isolate, even though my 'Mind Specialists' tell me I can't do that. But all I've realized in this re-adjustment of life style for me is that people tend to have a special way about them that can really piss me off.

Right now I'm kind of thanking the God and Goddess that I have very few friends on the internet so far, none that have pissed me off, and even fewer who actually read my blog. Thank the God and Goddess again because I'm not sure I should publish this.

What pissed me off? Oh lets see, I met a lady a few weeks back and I know we are becoming great buds, hanging out, doing stuff and talking all the time. She even texted me while we were sitting out front in a group of people. Only true friends do that, right. Well I want to know why in the sam hell I just run into her and she invites me over to watch TV, I say no because I just had to watch 5 episodes of CULT to get caught up. I'm TV'd out for now and have things to do like blog.  (Which by the way it was going to be a good one)But hey True Blood will be on later if you want to come over. I'm really tired though so I may wait to watch it, and she says no I will keep you up for that.

Well I walk around the block, sit out front and have a smoke and feel like I'm about to fall asleep. So I decide to stop by her place and see if maybe she has a cup of coffee. I knock on the door, stand there and wait for an answer. None. But low and behold the worst of all worst things happen. I can hear her and her man talking. He says well if you don't want to hang out with her just tell her you can't, you have things to do. Tell her you can't come over tonight because you have been staying up all night (with her) and need to get some sleep. And she says but I really do want to watch TRUE BLOOD I just don't want to go to her house. And bam that's when I realized she's a bitch and I really honestly shouldn't have friends. And I leave.

My Only True Bestest Friend "MONK"

Yeah we stayed up late together a few times, but that was her call at her house asking me to watch movies and then talking my ear off and what did I do, I sat and listened to her till 4 in the morning. I have been staying up all night, but it hasn't been with her so if she has that's on her completely because I wasn't there and she wasn't here so why the fuck are they insinuating it's my fault she's tired? Hanging out with her has totally blocked my ability to do my internet duties anyway. I'm the one who can't get shit done. And fuck if she doesn't want to hang out with me she doesn't need to watch True Blood at my house at freaking 9 o'clock.

I don't know how to reprogram my stinking mind about this, should I take it as I didn't hear everything said so I'm reading into it the wrong way. Should I just take as maybe she's only comfortable in her house? Should I just forget it since we have so much in common? Am I being to hard on my friends, letting them go over things that shouldn't matter? I don't know what to do here, I really need help. A girl has got to have friends, right? I can't just let the whole world go, but damn I really feel like it.

Well if you read this, I am impressed. Thank you for listening to me complain about my inability to create friendships. I sure hope I find a way to create some real ones in the near future.

Poetry

Hello everyone just wanted to stop by and say come over and check out my new poetry blog. If you are a fan you are going to want to follow and stay tuned to "Magical Writings". Look forward to sharing my innermost, deepest thoughts with you. Thanks for checking it out. Each time I post I will do a short post on this blog letting everyone know.

And a Tuesday update: My planner is going great. I am surprised at how much I am accomplishing.

Click the above link if you missed the file download.

Thanks guys, have a wonderful rest of the week.

What's Up Wednesday

Okay so this is What's Up, I have so much energy today that I actually got bored for a moment because I was so hyper I didn't know what to do with myself. I'm guessing that has something to do with the fact that I got very sad last Wednesday and was in bed being lazy for about 4 days. Now I am refreshed and totally energized. I feel like I could take on the world. I can do anything I want to do. Now, honestly I just gotta keep this going and hurry up and figure out what I really want to conquer. I conquered a lot last week, I was getting shit done.

Then me and Jason had  a talk and of course as soon as you talk about feelings and the future, someone has to get all anxious and try to bail. Depressing crap, especially when the only reason you talk about that crap is because he decides to say that he loves you. Loves me but then wants to run-away. Well I think that we got that all cleared up. We decided that if we do get in that lovey mood and say crazy things that we'll know it's in the heat of the moment (not sex people) and we will just not take it seriously. I never did anyway. My heart is in hate mode, which means I am protecting it for now.

Also, What's Up is that last week I got the mole on my lip cut off. I'm going to blog about it with pictures once it is completely healed. Almost there.

Me and My Wonderful Sisters

And my 'lil sis Nakita sent me an invitation for her Bachelor's Degree Graduation. I am totally pumped about it and can't wait for the date. (I better be able to go.) I only graduated with a certification so technically she'll be the first from our family. Go Nakita, I love you girl!

And then I have totally been blogging a lot, obviously for myself. That's totally fine on some of this stuff but I wish I was interesting enough to get at least one follower. I wonder what I can do better. If you are reading this, I would love to hear some feedback in the comments section. At least I always have it saved for myself, that's all that really matters. I have lost so much digital documents that blogging makes it really nice for journaling because it's always saved online. Also clouds are like my digital best friend. I love the backup and accessing from any device. Really awesome. And now I am rambling, blah, blah, blah. I got to go, later lovies!

Affirmations Video Share

Today I watched a video on You Tube uploaded by Ivy Wind. I love watching her videos because she is so spiritually uplifting. If you haven't read my blog before it is called Reprogramming Your Mind for a reason. I used to be very dark, in an extremely sad place. So what I mean to express, don't know if I do, is how you can change your life from dark to light. And this video is about Positive Affirmations and how you and only you can turn your life, your thinking, and your feelings around to no longer be in a dark, depressed, slump. I want to share it because this is how I managed to become a completely different person. Thank you Ivy for sharing this video.

Depression Update

Depression Update

Today I must write a little update about me because I haven't wrote since Monday. And Monday I really wasn't feeling up to it. I just realized what happened to me today when I was finally trying to get back in the game of life, if you will. Something happened Sunday or Monday, I don't know what all I know is I was nausea, fatigued and my head hurt so bad I thought I was dying. All that is typical since I get Migraines often but this week it lasted 4 days. I guess that's typical as well. But today I looked at the calendar and I seen that Tuesday was Mar. 19th. March 19th, 2003 was the day Bush declared war with Iraq, and well I was a sitting duck.

I have been noticing over the years, the past 3 I have been examining myself, that on certain days of the year, usually tragic, the conscious mind doesn't even need to be aware of the date but the sub conscious brain still feels the terrible memories. Because of that it can cause sadness, sickness, depression and even suicide, for no known reason. I'm not a doctor, or therapist and I don't feel like trying to find an article to prove my theory. I'm just saying that in my experience and examination I have found a lot of my depression to be surrounded around recurrences of tragic dates, year by year.

And that friends is what happens to me. So if I skip a few days, even though I plan to write everyday, stay with me. I hope I am sharing fun and educational stories. I want my pain and suffering to help others if possible. I like writing and I think blogging everyday will help improve my writing. I don't even think anyone reads this yet but I'm still doing it. It's for myself as much as for the world, and the friends I may make. So I will try harder, and stick to my plan. Everyday, that I can.

(These pictures are not mine, and I'm bad at referencing pics from FB, sorry)

Jesyka Lynn

Bad dream, good meaning, positive result.

It's 6 am and I just woke up from a dream. Some how I have been able to jolt myself enough to realize I have to use the bathroom which then forces my nightmare to end. I don't keep a dream journal because this rarely happens anymore, and well I've always just remembered the bad events anyway and occasionally the person's involved. This time it was my mom. She made a smart ass comment about my life and finances so I flipped my switch and got real violent on her. I beat her for a few minutes and then had her held down to the ground with my sexy heel (and by god it was hot) pressed into her chest telling her how easy it would be to just, let her go. I know, I know, I am crazy. And that is why I normally don't do this. But my blog is about reprogramming the mind, and after that, that is exactly what's needed.

So I sit here for a few minutes trying to remember what was going on before I freaked out, and of course I don't know. All I can remember is that we were laughing, smiling, and having a damn good time. So even though my mind reprogrammed itself so quickly into something negative, I knew that I could switch it back to positive thinking. It may not happen immediately but with a few trained thoughts, I should be well on my way.

So as I was training my brain to see that in a good light, I fell back to sleep and just remembered I started this, lol.

Basically what I did was look at what was happening in my dream. You don't have to know dream interpretation to interpret your dreams. In fact once you get the hang of it you will wonder why you ever thought you needed a book with definitions to explain your dreams for you. They are your dreams. If you can be honest with yourself and delve deep inside your mind, body and soul, you can find the meaning. And you can reprogram your thoughts into something positive. (I hope I am making sense).

Let's look at my dream. The part I remember, the part that woke me up was horrible. I was spending time with my mom and when I was leaving she made a comment about the way my life and finances were going. I must have felt that was very personal otherwise, would I have really got that upset? First off, even in my subconscious mind I think I should know that she has no business going where she can't compete. No offense to her please. I'm just saying thats probably what my dream mind was thinking. Second, if I look at it truthfully, what she said in my dream was what I have been wanting to say to myself. I just couldn't do it. My mom probably doesn't even notice these things because I don't share them. And yeah I am fine financially and in life but truthfully I have settled. I have become content and I don't have the confidence to really move forward. My dream was just me telling myself and showing how it made me feel, hence the violence, and pointing out that I wanted to move forward.

And also, it was pointing out that in real life my relationship with my mother is not very strong. I generally blame this on her, however as I am reprogramming my mind, I can admit that I am equally responsible now that I am a grown adult. So I feel my dream was spelling that out to me and telling me to reach out.

So instead of sitting here thinking that my mom isn't pleased and I almost killed her over it, I looked deeper until I found out the real underlying problem. Once I did this I could continue with my life and work on it positively, instead of thinking I was a horrible person, one for being violent and two for not getting what I deserve out of life.
Try to remember this the next time you have a bad dream.

Hope you enjoyed this, please leave a comment and subscribe. I would love to hear thoughts and feedback. I wonder if I even make sense, that's why I'm blogging. So please feel free to respond. BB LOVIES.