What's Up Wednesday

Alright so today is my What’s Up Wednesday, where I tell you my juicy, lol, life details.

So what’s going on? I guess a whole lot. In the last few months, mainly this year I have evolved into a different person. I am no longer the shy, quiet girl who keeps to herself. I was when I started this blog but no longer am, so unfortunately the time that I had to myself that I needed to fill with blogging is no longer there. Therefore, I no longer have the time I want and need to blog. I now have a few friends, and a boyfriend (yay!) and balancing them all out is kind of hard to do. But since I love them all, and I love you (blogging) I have to figure it out.

In a way, for a while, I kind of gave up on blogging. I started paying attention to numbers, we’ve all been there, and I really feel that I am not succeeding as much as I should be. But I just have to remind myself that mainly this is for me, and if someone reads it that’s great, if it helps someone, that’s even better, but if not that’s okay because this is my online journal, my blog, and I write it for me, and I hope, a person in need. I will grow and my blog will grow in time as it is meant to be, not when I want it to.

So with that being said, I am sure I will find the time to write about my troubles, my inspiration to others and one day I will have 100+ followers, for now this is just practice, I will figure it all out in due time, like I have figured everything else out, like finding a boyfriend, someone that I can trust and I feel safe with. And I will make it through these next couple of weeks in this hard therapy that has helped me reach out to others, and grow as a human being so much. This Thanksgiving I am grateful for my therapist for helping me see the good, on the outside, and the inside. Thanks Megan.

Also, Happy Birthday and Deathday to my still born sister Jackie who would be 30 today, I love you mom, hang in there.

And thank you for reading. Please comment, subscribe or follow and let me know what’s up with you.

Sunday Social

Hey ya'll, it's Jesyka, linking up for Sunday Social. Haven't been around for awhile and I'm happy to be back! This week is personal and I can't wait to chime it with my awesome personality so here goes.

1.) What are 3 thing you can't live w/o on a daily basis? (Food, water and shelter don't count)

A. My Samsung Galaxy S II Tab

B. My laptop which is broke right now

C. My Dog Tags. If I die I want to be properly identified.

2.) What is your all time favorite book?

I have a couple but Breathless by Dean Koontz is definitely BREATHLESS!

3.) What is something you'd like to accomplish by the end of 2013?

I'd like to get all my stressors taken care of. I need to get my liscense back, buy a car and go back to school.

4.) If you could go back and live any year of your life which year would it be?

1998. I was 17. I would've planned my future better and had less fun because boy I'll tell ya I had way too much craziness going on that year. '97 and '98 was great, things just hindered my decisions.

5.) What do you wish people knew about you that you didn't have to tell them.

I wish people knew how damn sarcastic I am and that I have an awesome, unsensitive sense of humor. I get tired of explaining that everytime something crazy flows from my mouth. LOL

And that's that! Have a great week blogger friends.

Okay so I answered the wrong week, o'well maybe I'll do the right on later. Right now I need to go to sleep. Good night!

Just A Little Bitching (can I say that)

Lol, I really don't care if I can or not, at least not at this point. This is my blog, I made it for me so I guess anything goes, when and how I want it to. If you read it, that's great, I will read and follow you too. If you don't like it then I guess you won't read or follow, and I'm cool with that too.

So my Bitch fit, goes a little something like this. First off today I didn't do Sunday Social. Not because it wasn't awesome, but because I left my old life and let go of my old friends and that's when I had awesome vacation times and I just didn't want to visit them.

Me on my fave vacation to South Beach Florida

My blog is called Reprogramming The Mind because I am doing just that. At least I am trying to. Very hard. At times I think I am doing great. But I realize that's only when I isolate, even though my 'Mind Specialists' tell me I can't do that. But all I've realized in this re-adjustment of life style for me is that people tend to have a special way about them that can really piss me off.

Right now I'm kind of thanking the God and Goddess that I have very few friends on the internet so far, none that have pissed me off, and even fewer who actually read my blog. Thank the God and Goddess again because I'm not sure I should publish this.

What pissed me off? Oh lets see, I met a lady a few weeks back and I know we are becoming great buds, hanging out, doing stuff and talking all the time. She even texted me while we were sitting out front in a group of people. Only true friends do that, right. Well I want to know why in the sam hell I just run into her and she invites me over to watch TV, I say no because I just had to watch 5 episodes of CULT to get caught up. I'm TV'd out for now and have things to do like blog.  (Which by the way it was going to be a good one)But hey True Blood will be on later if you want to come over. I'm really tired though so I may wait to watch it, and she says no I will keep you up for that.

Well I walk around the block, sit out front and have a smoke and feel like I'm about to fall asleep. So I decide to stop by her place and see if maybe she has a cup of coffee. I knock on the door, stand there and wait for an answer. None. But low and behold the worst of all worst things happen. I can hear her and her man talking. He says well if you don't want to hang out with her just tell her you can't, you have things to do. Tell her you can't come over tonight because you have been staying up all night (with her) and need to get some sleep. And she says but I really do want to watch TRUE BLOOD I just don't want to go to her house. And bam that's when I realized she's a bitch and I really honestly shouldn't have friends. And I leave.

My Only True Bestest Friend "MONK"

Yeah we stayed up late together a few times, but that was her call at her house asking me to watch movies and then talking my ear off and what did I do, I sat and listened to her till 4 in the morning. I have been staying up all night, but it hasn't been with her so if she has that's on her completely because I wasn't there and she wasn't here so why the fuck are they insinuating it's my fault she's tired? Hanging out with her has totally blocked my ability to do my internet duties anyway. I'm the one who can't get shit done. And fuck if she doesn't want to hang out with me she doesn't need to watch True Blood at my house at freaking 9 o'clock.

I don't know how to reprogram my stinking mind about this, should I take it as I didn't hear everything said so I'm reading into it the wrong way. Should I just take as maybe she's only comfortable in her house? Should I just forget it since we have so much in common? Am I being to hard on my friends, letting them go over things that shouldn't matter? I don't know what to do here, I really need help. A girl has got to have friends, right? I can't just let the whole world go, but damn I really feel like it.

Well if you read this, I am impressed. Thank you for listening to me complain about my inability to create friendships. I sure hope I find a way to create some real ones in the near future.

Sunday Social ~ FASHION FORWARD

It's Sunday morning, time for Sunday Social with Ashley and Neely. If you have never linked up before now is the time to join in because admit it, you are a woman and you love to shop. Personally I'd rather order online but it's all the same.

1. What is your favorite store to shop at?

It was always Dillard’s but we don’t have one around here so the next best thing is Kohl’s and they always have a sell and Kohl’s cash which makes them that much better.

2. If you could afford anything and everything, which designer brand would you covet?

I would have to say I’d probably have every single Coach bag. I love them.

3. What is your must have closet staple?

I have more tank tops than anything else. I like the ones with built in bras and I wear them with or without other shirts.

4. What is your favorite kind of shoes? (brand or type)

This one is hard for me because I LOVE SHOES. But honestly the only types I wear are flip-flops, wedgies or platforms and I go boot crazy in the winter. My favorite heels right now are from Chinese Laundry, they are so comfortable.

5. What is the best clothing deal you've ever gotten? (sale or amazing find)

I go to the sell rack before anything so I always get good deals. I like to maximize my money with a closet full of clothes.

6. What is a style you'd love to try?

Sometimes I wish I was girly enough or have a job where I could dress to impress every day. I mean I usually impress but I would like to be glamorous. 

 So that's my faves, what are yours? If you link-up leave a comment and let me know so I can read yours. It's the beginning of summer so get outside now and enjoy it. :)

Sunday Social Wk 5

Hi Bloggers, today is Sunday Social and it's all about pins. Check out my favorites!!!

1. What is your favorite outfit pin?

                                                                     Source: cindycook10.polyvore.com via Jessica on Pinterest

The perfect outfit for a sexy night out. Love it!

2. What is your favorite food pin?

                                                                           Source: navywifecook.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Haha, I realized I never actually tried making anything. Not much of a cook.

However I am going to the store right now to buy this. Looks delicious and easy.

3. What is your favorite wedding pin?

                                                                  Source: fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net via Jessica on Pinterest

Not planning on getting married but if I do this is definitely my dream cake.

4. What is your favorite DIY/craft pin?

                                                                           Source: google.com via Jessica on Pinterest

I wish I had a home instead of an apartment. Great idea.

5. What is your favorite quote/verse/lyric pin?

                                                                              Source: di.net via Jessica on Pinterest

This has for sure got me through my hard times.

6. Share on more random pin you love.

                                                                            Source: imgfave.com via Jessica on Pinterest

LOL, this is always great. And it's amazing how many guys still continue trying.

Ok friends you can join this link up from the button above.

Share, Subscribe, Comment and Follow.

Next week is about Twitter, don't know if I'll be able to answer those questions. Pinterest was fun for me, I'm pin addicted. Don't care so much for Twitter for some reason. IDK, anyway stop back and check it out.

What's Up Wednesday Wk 1

What's up Wednesday!

This is something I came up while planning out my blog week. Now that I know about link ups it may be cool to start a link up with it the future. Who knows. First I need to start writing a good blog and have more followers to get it passed around. Anyway today will be an actual journal of something personal that's going on in my life. Here goes!

My life has been totally hectic. I have a lot going on. I am in therapy and drug and alcohol counseling  it's an on going event that will last a life time and sometimes it is extremely hard to follow through with. I don't like to do it every week but in order to stay positive and on the straight and narrow I must do it. So 3 times a week I go in for different groups. The reason it is hard for me is because I don't like leaving my house or being in a group. At times I feel like calling it off for whatever reason, and today I did that because I have a terrible headache. But even after a year of doing the right thing all the time I feel bad for not showing up and it makes me feel guilt. For an addict the feeling of guilt is a great risk. Thankfully I made it through the day but I must remember how I felt and when it is time for the next group I must remember to show up.

Another thing in my life is a new relationship. I started dating one of my friends a couple weeks ago. I accepted the idea of dating him with the intention that it would be fun to go out and do things with probably anyone. I never thought that I would be interested in anything more than a few dates. But 3 weeks later, a few fun dates and some hanging out at my place and even once his friends place, I now have opened up my mind to maybe going further with him. The talk we had a little while ago was a little intense but we shared with each other how we felt with each other. We didn't mention if we were going to go from seeing each other to being with each other like gf/bf or whatever but we both definitely are enjoying the time together and I think that we both are going to only see each other from now on. That's already been happening so it shouldn't be hard to do. Next week I guess I will update where it has gone from here.

Thanks for stopping by, reading, commenting, subscribing, and following. Come check me out on other social networks and check out everything else I have to offer. Hope you enjoy. Many blessings and love.

Jesyka Lynn