5 for Five

#1 Have a great Thanksgiving, and I hope you all do the same.

#2 Buy the charger for my Galaxy, not having it is killing me. I tried but Walmart didn't have it, so it's ordered from Thankful Amazon

#3 Talk to a few people in my family, after all it’s a holiday. I just hung out with my friend family and sent a few texts.

#4 Work on BOS project I’ve got going on. Nope, too dang busy with the holiday.

#5 Blog. perhaps about my holiday. My boyfriend and I are throwing it together at the last minute. You can read my Grateful blog here

and now for my 5 for Five today.
1. stay sober
2. love a lot
3. write a sexy blog, i got one in mind
4. be happy
5. stress less

Lets see how I do, and how you do too. Thanks for reading.

What's Up Wednesday

Alright so today is my What’s Up Wednesday, where I tell you my juicy, lol, life details.

So what’s going on? I guess a whole lot. In the last few months, mainly this year I have evolved into a different person. I am no longer the shy, quiet girl who keeps to herself. I was when I started this blog but no longer am, so unfortunately the time that I had to myself that I needed to fill with blogging is no longer there. Therefore, I no longer have the time I want and need to blog. I now have a few friends, and a boyfriend (yay!) and balancing them all out is kind of hard to do. But since I love them all, and I love you (blogging) I have to figure it out.

In a way, for a while, I kind of gave up on blogging. I started paying attention to numbers, we’ve all been there, and I really feel that I am not succeeding as much as I should be. But I just have to remind myself that mainly this is for me, and if someone reads it that’s great, if it helps someone, that’s even better, but if not that’s okay because this is my online journal, my blog, and I write it for me, and I hope, a person in need. I will grow and my blog will grow in time as it is meant to be, not when I want it to.

So with that being said, I am sure I will find the time to write about my troubles, my inspiration to others and one day I will have 100+ followers, for now this is just practice, I will figure it all out in due time, like I have figured everything else out, like finding a boyfriend, someone that I can trust and I feel safe with. And I will make it through these next couple of weeks in this hard therapy that has helped me reach out to others, and grow as a human being so much. This Thanksgiving I am grateful for my therapist for helping me see the good, on the outside, and the inside. Thanks Megan.

Also, Happy Birthday and Deathday to my still born sister Jackie who would be 30 today, I love you mom, hang in there.

And thank you for reading. Please comment, subscribe or follow and let me know what’s up with you.

5 for Five

Well Happy Thanksgiving my lovies. I can’t believe this year is almost over. Yeah I’m a day behind but I am certainly not missing 5 for Five. So for last week and how I did. Green for completion, red for failure.

Goal #1 – Pack unneeded items, seriously. I did clear out some trash. J

Goal #2 – Arrange my living room with room to stack the boxes since the furniture I sold will be out today.

Goal #3 – Clean my house, thoroughly.

Goal #4 – Finish the Scrivener Tutorial and import my BOS files.

Goal #5 – Buy a new charger for my Galaxy. (It’ll be my 3^rd one, L)

Now this weeks 5 awesome goals

#1 Have a great Thanksgiving, and I hope you all do the same. J

#2 Buy the charger for my Galaxy, not having it is killing me.

#3 Talk to a few people in my family, after all it’s a holiday.

#4 Work on BOS project I’ve got going on.

#5 Blog. perhaps about my holiday. My boyfriend and I are throwing it together at the last minute.

Thanks for stopping by and checking out my goals. Please subscribe, follow or whatever it is you do.

Thanks lovies.

Sunday Social

Hello!!!
I haven't done one of these for awhile and I've gotta say the introductions are always a favorite.
1. What is the name of your blog? I have 2 blogs. The first one I started is Reprogramming The Mind, I came up with it because I am in the process of changing the way I think. I feel like it's to long but I can't find anything else that really fits me and what I mainly want to blog about. The 2nd is Magical Writings, it is strictly poetry, and well the way my words flow onto paper is utterly magical. (At least to me)

2. What do you love most about blogging? I love expressing myself however I want without the fear the person (in front of me) will judge. Millions of people can see this and a few will comment and even less will criticize me. I do this for me, so I can look back at my memories.

3. Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging to basically have an online directory of my journal. However that quickly changed as I decided to be more specific in what I'm writing. The longer my blog gets, the more specific I try to be. I'm just not there yet. I hope to figure it out soon.

image courtesy hubspot

4. What is something you'd want to tell someone just starting out in the blog world? Blog about your hearts desire. Also read up on blogging, all the best ways to get yourself out there, and all the cool fun things you can do, like contests, conferences, sponsoring,  co-hosting and whatever else there is. I'm just now learning those things and I feel lost. Blog because it's the awesome, cool thing to do that can't even harm you.

5. Biggest blogging learning experience you've had? It's not as easy as it looks or sounds.

6. What are three blogs you love? World of Psychology A Complete Waste of Makeup Fantastically Average - which I cannot read anymore so the tie breaker with her is Ashley Lately (they were my 1st two personal blogs)

Your turn! Answer the questions! Have an awesome week!

What's Up Wednesday

Wow, it's almost 10 pm. I knew I had to write a blog, just forgot it was this one, lol. So I have a lot to say in hopefully a quick but interesting manner.

1st I need to share that today I was notified that I am a chosen winner in one of the many Blogger Giveaways I participated in recently. Thank you to the Mia @ The Chronicles of Chaos for posting the $10.00 Amazon Gift Card for Jenn over at Party of One's birthday June 12th, 2013. I was the lucky winner of that gift card and I am totally ecstatic. Thank you all for hosting her birthday giveaway and once again Happy Birthday Girl. Birthdays are great, blogging is great, giveaways are great, and winning is ultimately great!

So what else is up??? Just been enjoying the nice hot sun rays, hanging with friends, doing some major shopping, finding awesome thrifty items, making candles and aromatherapy salts and oils and totally enjoying the relationship I have right now. For once I'm in one that isn't moving to fast for me. I like it!!!

"I'd fight a bear for you"

My lil sis is having some scary issues right now and I'm worried for her and praying with all my might.

I'm falling in love with blogging but at the same time I am enjoying life outside away from the computer more than I ever have in my life.But at the same time every time I have a problem with any of this computer stuff I am missing giving up on furthering my career in that department, but I am really good at mixing essential oils to provide healthy, aromatherapy benefits. So now I am really trying to put my focus into where my life is leading me.

One place it is leading me is back home. It will be a few months maybe but eventually I will be back in the 1st and 3rd capitol of my wonderful state. God I cannot wait.

I am also loving writing poetry again. I you haven't already please stop over to my blog Magical Writings and give me a holler and a follow.

And by the way to those that read my Weight Loss blog, I got myself weighed today and since I wrote that blog I have lost another 7 pounds. GO ME!!!

I guess I am going to say this is it for this week. Let me know what you think, I'd love this to become a link-up, but for now it's my way of keeping you informed. Blessings to you.

5 for FIVE

It's time to Link-up and share your goals!
So here's how it goes for last week's: GREEN for Yes and RED for no.
1. Organize poems into 3 prong folders. Share-able  Needs Editing, For My Eyes Only. I got them all separated but now I have more to type.

2. Eat no more than 2 Carbs per day with 1 bonus (donuts, cake, etc.) I hate eating carbs, I guess I should specify that by saying grains. I barely ate anything so this was a definite.

3. Edit the About Me and the contact detail on all the sites I use. I did most of FB yesterday and I'm going to make them all the same so it should be easy. Pretty sure I got all of them done. If not I saved it for later of course.

4. Purchase the stock photos I want. One for each blog and maybe one for my web-site but I doubt it. I did not purchase the photos because I decided to wait for my name change, or not. But I did create my own for Magical Writings.

5. Figure out how to turn the edited stock image into a button for my page. I didn't say finish it, obviously this is going to be a baby step process. But I am determined to do it myself. Yep I figured this out, I actually made one for my other blog Magical Writings.

So 4 out of 5 definitely is not bad. Probably the best I've done so far. Last week was a very hard week for me so unfortunately I am not setting any goals this week. When you have Bi-Polar episodes sometimes it's better to just let it run its course. And that's exactly what I am going to do. I have my 7 days of Planner to stick to anyway to keep me focused. Things I will do for sure is deciding what to get rid of before my move and try to get rid of it and typing out any other poems and aromatherapy recipes that are still written in my journal. And maybe coming up with a new, shorter, better name for my blog, but i don't know.

You all have a blessed week, I wish you the best in completely your goals. Stop by again.

Jesyka Lynn

5 for Five

Hello everyone! Thanks for stopping by to check out MY 5 for Five! Linking up with Jessica and Jenn.

This is last weeks 5 for Five and this is how I did!

Green for Completion and Red for Failure

I didn't do so well last week but I will do better this week! I promise.

1. Finish 3/4 of my 7 days of... planner. You can find the document here to see if you like it. I did very, very well with this. It made it very hard to complete all of my goals though.

2. Finish reading Inferno. I finished it yesterday morning. I was so busy with 1. that I almost didn't finish. It was a good book but I'm going to say Dan Brown's worst yet, although it was very good.

3. Walk 3 times and exercise 3 times. I definitely got the walking done that I wanted to but as for actual exersice I only did 2 times and it was a very low intensity. I also ruined my diet this week, oops.

4. Draw something abstract. Nope, unless you count the horrible scribbling I made on a birthday box being mailed. This was a definite fail.

5. Make a button for my blog. I have only figured out have of the process and I didn't even purchase the stock photo, not sure its the one I want. Unfortunately I can't illustrate very well or I could make it myself. :(

Bonus. Organize my Documents. I got this done finally, so happy! Well I'm sure it could always use work and be better but it's pretty darn good right now.

And now for this week:
1. Organize poems into 3 prong folders. Share-able  Needs Editing, For My Eyes Only.

2. Eat no more than 2 Carbs per day with 1 bonus (donuts, cake, etc.) I hate eating carbs, I guess I should specify that by saying grains.

3. Edit the About Me and the contact detail on all the sites I use. I did most of FB yesterday and I'm going to make them all the same so it should be easy.

4. Purchase the stock photos I want. One for each blog and maybe one for my web-site but I doubt it.

5. Figure out how to turn the edited stock image into a button for my page. I didn't say finish it, obviously this is going to be a baby step process. But I am determined to do it myself.

Alright ladies and gents these are my goals this week. Click the link above if you want to get in on the fun. Have a great week!

How I Lost 20lbs

Hello everyone, I need to write a blog. It’s kind of been a little while since I have taken the time to do so. I have a lot of things planned but today I am going to do one that I just came up with yesterday. In the past 5 months I have been trying to lose weight. And Yay! for me I did. I technically lost 18 lbs. So that is amazing. Not only did I shed the pounds, I lost inches and 2 dress sizes. I am totally stoked about it and everyone I've known all that time keeps asking me how I did it.

Honestly I barely tried in my eyes. There are some things I cut out and also things I added in and I plan on sharing with you a list of things I did and didn't do. First though please realize what worked for me may not work for you. With the exercises (I barely worked out) talk to your doctor before starting any exercise routines. Here is a before picture of me. It was actually taken last summer but in December I was still about that size.

So what did I do?

o    I discovered MioEnergy, if you do not know what this is it’s a flavored water enhancer. They have regular, Fit, and the Energy brand. I use all of them. Energy in the morning and the others during the day or in the evening. Mio has 0 calories and 0 sugars. The only bad thing is that it is sweetened with Sucralose.
o   I cut the Mountain Dew out of my life except for an occasional 1 or 2 each month. No more drinks with High Fructose Corn Syrup.
o   I drink Unsweetened Green Tea or Unsweetened Coffee whenever I feel I need a caffeine boost. If you don’t drink Caffeine, you can always use Decaf.
o   I only allow myself the occasional donut, cake, cookie, etc. I mean like 1 time a month. And I do not bring junk food home from the grocery store.
o   I barely eat Carbs, yes they do produce natural energy in your body and you do need some every day but I don’t think you need a lot. I still eat Carbs, a little rice, potatoes and pasta but when it comes to my sandwiches I eat the innards, like lunch meat and cheese without bread. I just roll them up together with a pickle in the middle and eat it like that. Also when I do eat bread it is whole wheat. Also try to use a good Turkey or Ham lunchmeat instead of Bologna.
o   Instead of candy now I eat freeze pops. I don’t know if that’s better or not but I do it most of the time.
o   My favorite…I increased my fruits and vegetables intake. This was the best thing I did. Remember to fill you dinner plate up half way with fruits and/or vegetables. If you are eating Carbs, only eat a small portion of 1/3 of the plate. And the other 2/3 or so will go to your meat.
o   I have always eaten a lot of meat. Some say Carbs give you the best energy but I couldn't live without my protein. I love red meats the most. Not much Chicken or Pork in this diet but the thing I added more of this year was fish/seafood. It is more lean that anything else and has a lot of wonderful health benefits that you can get only from eating fish. So for me it’s fried Tilapia or Catfish and one or 2 cans of tuna every week. Don’t forgot a lot of nuts and Peanut Butter, mine is sweetened with Honey instead of Corn Syrup, that yucky stuff will add pounds not erase them.
o   Yes in the last one I said fried. The thing I did to fix that a little was convert to nothing but olive oil and I even use less than I did with the vegetable oil.
o   I do not eat anything deep fried or breaded that you warm up in the oven. Processed meat is the worst thing ever.
o   I bought a shake weight. My arms were the first thing I truly noticed going downhill. For a while I didn't touch it so I am honestly going to estimate and say during these 5 months I probably used it on average once a week. That’s it and it was easy.
o   Again with this one, occasionally I did 50 squats. I am horrible with exercising and can’t remember, can’t make time or whatever so I probably did them on average once a week for the past 5 months.
o   The only thing I did consistently is walk. I walk between 6 to 10 miles each week. That’s really not a lot but I wasn't doing it very often till this year. I don’t have a car at this time so this walking I have to do for the most part but even though I have to walk I still take my normal walks of 2 or 3 miles a week as my exercise. And when I do get a car I live a ¼ mile from the shopping center so unless I’m buying more than $50 worth of stuff I’m still going to walk it.

So there you have it, this is how I lost 20 lbs. I didn't follow a diet or exercise routine. I made a lot of mistakes throughout this time but I picked up where I left off and fixed my lifestyle. I used to be super skinny but things happen in life and we all get messed up and confused. Don’t worry about it; just do the best you can do. Even if you need to add or subtract one thing at a time to live a better life, then that’s how it has to be done. Also remember that if you are on any medications, birth control, depression, blood pressure, etc. they may be the cause of your weight gain and you may not be able to shed those pounds. Remember to accept and to love yourself no matter what you look like because most people especially guys, they don’t notice it like you do and they always love you no matter what. So be sure to love yourself.

And here is a picture of me taken approximately 2 weeks ago when I found out how much weight I lost. I dropped 2 sizes and the cellulite I was starting to get. My belly is still chubby but I no longer have the flubber and my legs don't jiggle when I walk, lol.

Thanks for reading my post. Please comment, share, like and follow me. Visit my Web-Site at www.jasmineraynewaxnmore.weebly.com  Blessed Be Lovies.

What's Up Wednesday

Okay so this is What's Up, I have so much energy today that I actually got bored for a moment because I was so hyper I didn't know what to do with myself. I'm guessing that has something to do with the fact that I got very sad last Wednesday and was in bed being lazy for about 4 days. Now I am refreshed and totally energized. I feel like I could take on the world. I can do anything I want to do. Now, honestly I just gotta keep this going and hurry up and figure out what I really want to conquer. I conquered a lot last week, I was getting shit done.

Then me and Jason had  a talk and of course as soon as you talk about feelings and the future, someone has to get all anxious and try to bail. Depressing crap, especially when the only reason you talk about that crap is because he decides to say that he loves you. Loves me but then wants to run-away. Well I think that we got that all cleared up. We decided that if we do get in that lovey mood and say crazy things that we'll know it's in the heat of the moment (not sex people) and we will just not take it seriously. I never did anyway. My heart is in hate mode, which means I am protecting it for now.

Also, What's Up is that last week I got the mole on my lip cut off. I'm going to blog about it with pictures once it is completely healed. Almost there.

Me and My Wonderful Sisters

And my 'lil sis Nakita sent me an invitation for her Bachelor's Degree Graduation. I am totally pumped about it and can't wait for the date. (I better be able to go.) I only graduated with a certification so technically she'll be the first from our family. Go Nakita, I love you girl!

And then I have totally been blogging a lot, obviously for myself. That's totally fine on some of this stuff but I wish I was interesting enough to get at least one follower. I wonder what I can do better. If you are reading this, I would love to hear some feedback in the comments section. At least I always have it saved for myself, that's all that really matters. I have lost so much digital documents that blogging makes it really nice for journaling because it's always saved online. Also clouds are like my digital best friend. I love the backup and accessing from any device. Really awesome. And now I am rambling, blah, blah, blah. I got to go, later lovies!

Affirmations Video Share

Today I watched a video on You Tube uploaded by Ivy Wind. I love watching her videos because she is so spiritually uplifting. If you haven't read my blog before it is called Reprogramming Your Mind for a reason. I used to be very dark, in an extremely sad place. So what I mean to express, don't know if I do, is how you can change your life from dark to light. And this video is about Positive Affirmations and how you and only you can turn your life, your thinking, and your feelings around to no longer be in a dark, depressed, slump. I want to share it because this is how I managed to become a completely different person. Thank you Ivy for sharing this video.

Depression Update

Depression Update

Today I must write a little update about me because I haven't wrote since Monday. And Monday I really wasn't feeling up to it. I just realized what happened to me today when I was finally trying to get back in the game of life, if you will. Something happened Sunday or Monday, I don't know what all I know is I was nausea, fatigued and my head hurt so bad I thought I was dying. All that is typical since I get Migraines often but this week it lasted 4 days. I guess that's typical as well. But today I looked at the calendar and I seen that Tuesday was Mar. 19th. March 19th, 2003 was the day Bush declared war with Iraq, and well I was a sitting duck.

I have been noticing over the years, the past 3 I have been examining myself, that on certain days of the year, usually tragic, the conscious mind doesn't even need to be aware of the date but the sub conscious brain still feels the terrible memories. Because of that it can cause sadness, sickness, depression and even suicide, for no known reason. I'm not a doctor, or therapist and I don't feel like trying to find an article to prove my theory. I'm just saying that in my experience and examination I have found a lot of my depression to be surrounded around recurrences of tragic dates, year by year.

And that friends is what happens to me. So if I skip a few days, even though I plan to write everyday, stay with me. I hope I am sharing fun and educational stories. I want my pain and suffering to help others if possible. I like writing and I think blogging everyday will help improve my writing. I don't even think anyone reads this yet but I'm still doing it. It's for myself as much as for the world, and the friends I may make. So I will try harder, and stick to my plan. Everyday, that I can.

(These pictures are not mine, and I'm bad at referencing pics from FB, sorry)

Jesyka Lynn

Bi-polar Love

Hello, thanks for stopping by. This is Tuesday and my day to share some writing with you. Hope you enjoy. Please remember to comment, subscribe or follow. Blessings and Love.

Bi-Polar Love Affair - Haiku

I say hateful things

I love being your lover

The sadness is mine

I get mad at you

I never want another

Tell me what to do

I am so confused

Should I leave or should I stay

That's me loving you

Jesyka Lynn

Making your love last

Oh boy did I think of a good one today. I actually think it popped into my mind last night but whatever triggered it then surpassed it by all means this morning. I'm still very stressed and upset, reprogramming my mind you might say, lol. So my thoughts today are very centered on 'why am I still sticking around? I am miserable.' But then I have to take a few steps back and ask myself "is it always this way, only sometimes, more often then not or not so much?"
So once I figure it out, and by god this is almost a daily thing, I chalk it up and decide that it's only sometimes, you know just once in a while and it's totally worth saving this relationship. Very, very hard to do.
Seriously, did I just do that? Me, the girl who proclaimed she would never be in a relationship with one person for the rest of my life, and left every other relationship I was in at the first sign of trouble? Crazy especially if you know me or can relate.
I had a bad relationship before this one, but I stayed almost 3 years because I had a kid. Worst mistake of my life, but I guess that's what keeps me here in this one. Things might be little off at times, life maybe stressful, and we may severely disagree most of the time, but it is so much better than I had before.
And well I have to accept that the world does not revolve around what I want. So what if he doesn't want what I want, so I don't get my way. And so what if we have different schedules and at times we get upset when our sleep is interrupted or maybe we butt heads when raising our kids. Things happen, people even change, life changes but true love doesn't change. So I have figured out that I may have to "REPROGRAM" my mind EVERY SINGLE DAY but the truth is that he is my best friend, and even with his flaws I fell in love with him for his assets, and well I've even grown to love those annoying things I didn't use to like anyway.
So when I begin to have a bad day, I take a moment for myself and remember why I'm here and why I want to stay.

Bad dream, good meaning, positive result.

It's 6 am and I just woke up from a dream. Some how I have been able to jolt myself enough to realize I have to use the bathroom which then forces my nightmare to end. I don't keep a dream journal because this rarely happens anymore, and well I've always just remembered the bad events anyway and occasionally the person's involved. This time it was my mom. She made a smart ass comment about my life and finances so I flipped my switch and got real violent on her. I beat her for a few minutes and then had her held down to the ground with my sexy heel (and by god it was hot) pressed into her chest telling her how easy it would be to just, let her go. I know, I know, I am crazy. And that is why I normally don't do this. But my blog is about reprogramming the mind, and after that, that is exactly what's needed.

So I sit here for a few minutes trying to remember what was going on before I freaked out, and of course I don't know. All I can remember is that we were laughing, smiling, and having a damn good time. So even though my mind reprogrammed itself so quickly into something negative, I knew that I could switch it back to positive thinking. It may not happen immediately but with a few trained thoughts, I should be well on my way.

So as I was training my brain to see that in a good light, I fell back to sleep and just remembered I started this, lol.

Basically what I did was look at what was happening in my dream. You don't have to know dream interpretation to interpret your dreams. In fact once you get the hang of it you will wonder why you ever thought you needed a book with definitions to explain your dreams for you. They are your dreams. If you can be honest with yourself and delve deep inside your mind, body and soul, you can find the meaning. And you can reprogram your thoughts into something positive. (I hope I am making sense).

Let's look at my dream. The part I remember, the part that woke me up was horrible. I was spending time with my mom and when I was leaving she made a comment about the way my life and finances were going. I must have felt that was very personal otherwise, would I have really got that upset? First off, even in my subconscious mind I think I should know that she has no business going where she can't compete. No offense to her please. I'm just saying thats probably what my dream mind was thinking. Second, if I look at it truthfully, what she said in my dream was what I have been wanting to say to myself. I just couldn't do it. My mom probably doesn't even notice these things because I don't share them. And yeah I am fine financially and in life but truthfully I have settled. I have become content and I don't have the confidence to really move forward. My dream was just me telling myself and showing how it made me feel, hence the violence, and pointing out that I wanted to move forward.

And also, it was pointing out that in real life my relationship with my mother is not very strong. I generally blame this on her, however as I am reprogramming my mind, I can admit that I am equally responsible now that I am a grown adult. So I feel my dream was spelling that out to me and telling me to reach out.

So instead of sitting here thinking that my mom isn't pleased and I almost killed her over it, I looked deeper until I found out the real underlying problem. Once I did this I could continue with my life and work on it positively, instead of thinking I was a horrible person, one for being violent and two for not getting what I deserve out of life.
Try to remember this the next time you have a bad dream.

Hope you enjoyed this, please leave a comment and subscribe. I would love to hear thoughts and feedback. I wonder if I even make sense, that's why I'm blogging. So please feel free to respond. BB LOVIES.