Self-Hate/Self-Love

Hey lovies! How are you all doing? It's been awhile since my last inspirational post so today I have got a little self-esteem review from me and a couple of my own quotes to turn that self-hate into self love. This is just the start, hopefully, I will stay true to inform you how well this positive thinking works for me. I probably shouldn't post these thoughts about myself but I just hope to help another person out, here goes nothing.

Do you like yourself?

All you can do is try to be better. I just realized my problem isn't that I don't like myself, it's that I care to much about what other people think of me. Everyone has faults, I just need to remind myself of that and not worry what everyone else thinks of me. F-it!

My do not like list:

-that I drop everything just to please people who have no love for me

-obsessing and stressing

-I sacrific way to much

-don't stand up for myself

-shy around those I don't know

-that I am a horrible cook

-I feel as though I have reached my limit of intelligence

-I can't remember shit

-I'm broken, a terrible hott mess

-that I'm broke and can't buy nice things

-that I've hurt everyone I love

-that I can't go back to saying F-it like I used to

-that I'm not stupid, I wish I was a fool

-that I'm indecisive

-I'm critical

-enabling

-suspisious

-violent

-vulgar

-withdrawn

-impulsive

-defensive

-greedy

-possesive

-sarcastic

-self-centered

-selfish

What it's about:
It's about balancing out your weaknesses. If you don't like something, improve it little by little until you get it 
right. Stabilize it and don't let it bring you down. You actually like yourself this way, why worry about what others think. If you care it's because you don't like it. So change it!

http://www.messianicjudaism.me/yinon/2013/07/19/meeting-a-fellow-blogger/

My Assets:

-honest

-reliable

-responsible

-open-minded

-thrifty

-supportive

-greatful

-positive

-industrious

-patient

-realistic

-courageous

-interested

-clean

I am also posting an I Hate About (you) poems at www.magicalwritings.blogspot.com so check it out!

What's Up Wendesday

What is today? Is it Wednesday? Yep it sure is. Guess I'm gonna do a

What's Up Wednesday!!!

So lets see, uh okay damn, the last post I did was last Wednesday. And wow it has been a crappy week. Might I first just be honest with myself and everyone else and first say that I am diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder. Ha, and my next confession may or may not, probably not, have anything to do with being Bi-Polar. However I spent Friday through Tuesday curled up on the couch, mostly sleeping and eating very little and double duty sulking in my sad little pitiful excuse of a life. Yea I did and honestly I think that's 3 weeks in a row now. But don't be confused because that's not technically a depression phase. At least not a typical one anyway. Depression lasts for 3 weeks or more but it has to be consecutive. And generally for no reason at all.

Depression and Mania

Well I sat sulking in my misery this week because as soon as it happened I recognized the pattern. And by God admitting it is a very hard thing to do so I think I'm gonna keep that to myself for now. Lets just see if we have a week 4 or not. Week 3 should not have happened but when it hit me I lost all control and that made it even worse. Lets see I could be rapid-cycling but I doubt that's the case, even though that's the type I typically am. I cannot sleep for the life of me and I did some major cleaning and organizing all night and all day yesterday, but I had the energy and it was way over due. Now if I am in a Phase again, jeez it's been soooo long, I have obviously been learning to deal with it a little better. Yay.

Completely Normal

And moving on. I just wanted to touch base and say that I did manage to complete 3 out of 5 goals on 5 for Five last week, so for being in a sappy mood that's not too bad. However I am not planning any for this week. Maybe just try not to argue with anyone. That would just ruin my mood. I'm in a good mood because I had some unexpected old friends stop by to visit. They are amazing. I love em. I also talked to a favorite person on the phone and that hasn't happened lately. Hopefully I see him today. If I make it through the day. I'm tired from all the cleaning I did. :( Anyway I should probably get up like a normal person today. Take a shower, dress up, do my hair and make up and stop being a sad lil pup. Don't know if I've been funny at all but at least now I'm trying to make myself smile. Thanks for reading my roller coaster journey, please follow me.

What's Up Wednesday Wk 1

What's up Wednesday!

This is something I came up while planning out my blog week. Now that I know about link ups it may be cool to start a link up with it the future. Who knows. First I need to start writing a good blog and have more followers to get it passed around. Anyway today will be an actual journal of something personal that's going on in my life. Here goes!

My life has been totally hectic. I have a lot going on. I am in therapy and drug and alcohol counseling  it's an on going event that will last a life time and sometimes it is extremely hard to follow through with. I don't like to do it every week but in order to stay positive and on the straight and narrow I must do it. So 3 times a week I go in for different groups. The reason it is hard for me is because I don't like leaving my house or being in a group. At times I feel like calling it off for whatever reason, and today I did that because I have a terrible headache. But even after a year of doing the right thing all the time I feel bad for not showing up and it makes me feel guilt. For an addict the feeling of guilt is a great risk. Thankfully I made it through the day but I must remember how I felt and when it is time for the next group I must remember to show up.

Another thing in my life is a new relationship. I started dating one of my friends a couple weeks ago. I accepted the idea of dating him with the intention that it would be fun to go out and do things with probably anyone. I never thought that I would be interested in anything more than a few dates. But 3 weeks later, a few fun dates and some hanging out at my place and even once his friends place, I now have opened up my mind to maybe going further with him. The talk we had a little while ago was a little intense but we shared with each other how we felt with each other. We didn't mention if we were going to go from seeing each other to being with each other like gf/bf or whatever but we both definitely are enjoying the time together and I think that we both are going to only see each other from now on. That's already been happening so it shouldn't be hard to do. Next week I guess I will update where it has gone from here.

Thanks for stopping by, reading, commenting, subscribing, and following. Come check me out on other social networks and check out everything else I have to offer. Hope you enjoy. Many blessings and love.

Jesyka Lynn