Day 1 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Welp, I'm single. And I'm actually really happy with it. Until September 2012 I was never single for more than a couple months in between a few kinda long relationships since I was in high school. I never thought I could make it on my own. I don't even know that I didn't want to be with that man (Jason) but I felt like I was stuck and my life wasn't going to get to much better if I stayed with him so I suggested we take a 6 month break and both gain adult independence instead of being co-dependent on each other. To this day I don't know if that was a mistake or not, there's no way to for see what would've happened. He obviously didn't understand that I just wanted to know that I didn't need a man to survive and wanted to find out how I really felt because even though I didn't know for months he didn't become independent at all, he just moved on within 2 weeks. So of course the more he was gone the more I missed him and the more I was sure I wanted to be with him. But before our break was up and despite that him and I was still hooking up I discovered he had a girlfriend all that time. So that broke my heart because he didn't measure up to the person I hoped he was, he wasn't staying with me because he loved me, he just didn't want to be alone either and I convinced myself even though I don't have a clue if it was true that he continued sleeping with me so he was definitely cheating on me like he now was her. Okay, okay, enough about all that. I stayed single for a year which was a goal, I began dating someone in October I think but he turned out to be a terrible person and it was over before January. February 2014 came and I meet someone (Brandon), we instantly became best buddies and soon decided to date, that lasted til July 2014. Total bad luck with men, at this point I regretted my decision of leaving Jason. I decided to stay single for a year again and really work on myself and my problems. I went on a date here and there without the intention of really getting to know them but dang it the beginning can become very lonely at times. 9 months into it I had done a great deal of work on learning about who I am and I met a guy who I thought was into me and I made the mistake of saying I didn't want to date anyone because it hadn't been a year but we could hang out. And of course hanging out consisted of having sex FWB because well it had been 9 months and I'm only human and for some reason I was really attracted to this awkward weirdo lol I'm just playing. But he was a respectful guy and we ended up spending a lot of days together and having a lot of fun. But I ruined it because when I decided that I basically had a relationship I decided to bring it up and all of a sudden I wasn't good enough for him, he said he was emotionally unavailable. So boo hoo I've remained completely single since July 2015. And BTW he had a crazy girlfriend a month later. But that only human part of me kicked in when Brandon showed up in October. We spent the weekend together but I quickly realized I didn't want anything to do with him ever again. It's ironic that I made that decision to the extinct of blocking him because I ended up pregnant. So now I still don't wanna be with him but he's no longer blocked and we have talked and he spent the night once. Only for me to be even more convinced that I'm happier by myself with this baby in my belly than having just any man in my life. My dream of finding a man I'll be satisfied with is more than likely going to put on hold for quite awhile but I've accepted it. I'm 19 weeks and the only relationships I need in my life are the ones with all the best female friends I've made and the ones with my beautiful children. No man not worth a damn needed here. I love being single so much that my bestie thinks I'm ruined and will never accept anyone ever again. I don't think that's the case though, I just know what I want and I haven't found it yet. But yeah it's nice being comfortable alone.
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