Happy New Year 2014

So I looked to see how long it has been since I wrote a post, Dec 2^nd. Over a month and even longer than that since I wrote anything meaningful. Today I am going to tell you why it is important to go to the doctor when you are sick. And first I am going to confess that I still haven’t gone. I am going to go when the temperature begins to rise again though. And yes I still need to go. I have been sick since Dec 24^th. That’s 13 days. 4 of those days I lied in bed unable to move. I could’ve even get up to find the phone to call 911. I couldn’t do anything for myself and yes I wish I could say that I actually had someone to make decisions and advocate for me but I didn’t so every day since those 4 I have said if I don’t get better by tomorrow, I’ll go to the ER. Well I keep putting it off because I have gotten better. I actually feel normal, cleaning and doing laundry, watching T.V. and now writing. But I am not normal by any means. 13 days later and still the only thing I have held down is 3 Jello cups, 1 yesterday and 2 today. I can’t even get myself to eat because the smell and taste of everything except orange jello, why orange? Cherry isn’t feasible so I don’t know. Everything tastes rancid, horrible, like I wonder if I will ever enjoy food again after this? I went to my neighbors yesterday so she could feed me mashed potatoes. I ate them by stuffing and swallowing only to later puke it up. Today I couldn’t even stomach ice cream. And I weighed myself, I lost 12 pounds. One pound each day. I don’t mind the weight loss of course but the way it was done really scares me now. Now I want nothing more than to head to the ER and find out what’s wrong with me. I am frightened that something terrible happened to my brain those 4 days I lay here feeling like I was dying. I even lose coordination of my limbs for two days. What if I really messed something up or had a deadly virus. Whatever it was, it still is. I need to get myself treated. Why the heck would everything smell dead?? Good thing out of this, I’ve quit smoking. So for my resolution I hope to stay stopped once I am better.